Hit me (with a series of strange shower videos) baby, (at least) one more time! Because Britney Spears appears to be alive, says TMZ, and back to filming half-nude erotica for the public again. All is right in the world.
Britney Spears’ fans—the ones who, like, #Freed Britney, but also the ones who were somehow surprised about the continued erratic nature of her videos post-conservatorship—have switched up their signature chant to #WhereIsBritney. Convinced that she might never have returned from her honeymoon and that husband Sam Asghari might be running her Instagram account, they became even more spooked when Spears posted a video on a private jet last week claiming to head to New York City. If she was really there, they claimed, paparazzi would’ve captured a shot of her, but alas, no Brit in NYC.
Loathed celeb gossipmonger Perez Hilton added fuel to the fire of speculation by claiming he has some inside info on Britney, and something very bad is going on. “Concern is warranted,” he warned.
Have no fear, Britney stans, TMZ—most trusted authority on all life or death matters—is here! The outlet learned Tuesday night that “Britney Spears isn’t missing, in trouble or dead as growing fan theories might suggest — in fact, it’s quite the opposite.”
Sources apparently close to the singer told TMZ Spears said she was going to NYC to “throw people off” and that she and Asghari were actually headed to a vacation in Mexico where they had hoped to enjoy some peace and quiet. The sources also claim the shower footage she posted was indeed shot in Mexico and is new content. Spears wouldn’t dare deny the age-old influencer proverb: Always Be Posting. In one post, Brit said she “changed my name to Brooklyn,” while in another she appeared to broker a peace treaty with her mom, Lynne Spears, after telling her to “burn in hell” in October.
“Instagram doesn’t like posts of people revealing their bodies anymore so here’s a selfie of me in Mexico 🇲🇽 !!! Mom and Dad … I crossed the border and I made it !!! After no coffee for 15 years ☕️ … Mom we can go have coffee together now !!! I’m treated as an equal … let’s have coffee and talk about it !!!”
Fans had also been spooked by the eerily timed travels of Spears’ parents who both touched down in Los Angeles last week, prompting concerns over whether something ominous had happened to Britney. But TMZ say Lynne and Jamie Spears—you know, the one who kept his daughter in a conservatorship for 13 years against her will—were in town to see Britney’s niece, the daughter of Brit’s brother Bryan, perform in The Nutcracker. As for Brit’s fans, the intention is always good, but the conspiracy theories, at least this time, are best kept to the annals of TikTok.
At least for now, rest somewhat assured that Sam isn’t on vacation with a body double (how boring!), and long live Britney.
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