- A little life: Heartbreaking obituary tells story of man bullied at school for being shy, shunned as an adult Daily Mail
- Brother’s heart-wrenchingly honest obit for 76-year-old sibling’s hard, lonely life goes viral: ‘He didn’t fit in’ New York Post
- Almost no one spoke to Brian when he was alive — but his obituary? It’s making people talk KARE 11
- A Forgotten Man -Outpouring Of Heartfelt Comments For Minnesota Man Minnesota’s New Country
- A lonely life ends. A brother writes a ‘brutally honest’ obituary. INFORUM
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Tag Archives: Shy
Meet the gay doctor answering the questions you’re too shy to ask your physician
A gay doctor has earned a huge fanbase with his no-nonsense, straightforward videos about anal sex and sexually-transmitted infections. His following really exploded over the summer when he began to post videos specifically educating gay men about monkeypox.
Dr. Carlton Thomas’s videos arrived at a time when people were desperate for accurate and up-to-date information. An increasing number of people are turning to TikTok for bite-sized chunks of news.
Dr. Thomas was born and raised in “very conservative rural South Carolina.” He studied at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. He practices as a gastroenterologist (that’s everything to do with your gut health) but has become knowledgeable about all areas of queer health.
Thomas says there’s a real thirst for such information from the many queer people in his practice. He also says he saw, “a huge lack of proper queer health sex ed on social media.”
He’s now based in San Diego, California. Married, he has two 17-year-old children via surrogacy.
Related: Gay men are the “canary in the coal mine” of future pandemics, warns doc seeking HIV cure
Discovering TikTok during the pandemic
Thomas says he first started posting videos in 2020 as a result of “pandemic stress relief and boredom. My kids were big Tik Tok fans so I jumped in one night and realized how great it could be.”
“My audience took off after I posted delicately worded anal sex instructional videos on preparation and relaxation.”
“I got about 50K followers from that. Interestingly the stats showed 75% were women early on which I did not expect, but realized, ‘Hey, everyone’s got a butt and can be interested in anal sex.’
“I continued to grow by posting more butt health videos and then pivoted to a more solidly queer health platform on my Instagram. I talk about PrEP, PEP, HIV, U=U, Doxy PEP, but also proper STI testing, vaccinations, and harm reduction.”
Earlier this year, Thomas was “incredibly alarmed” to realize monkeypox was primarily hitting gay men.
“Because I have one of the few queer health social media platforms I felt the need to sound the alarm. On May 20 when the Darklands Belgium announcement came out that they had three new cases and I knew that IML would be in Chicago soon after and a similar crowd would travel to that, I made my first warning video.
“It felt eerily similar to HIV but this time without the near-certain death that early HIV seemed to bring in the 80s.
“When a fellow gay doctor friend of mine in Chicago posted that he had it about 10 days after IML [International Mr Leather], I knew this was going to be a huge problem. If he could get it, so could I!”
Related: Half of gay and bi men have reduced their sexual activity because of monkeypox
Reacting to the arrival of monkeypox
“I started doing Instagram lives with people who had it, and started delivering all the treatment and vaccination information I could to help stop this,” says Thomas.
“I feel like those live videos gave people an insight to take this seriously. My inbox was flooded daily with men who were newly infected and had no idea what to do. I helped point people to resources to get treatment and vaccination.
“As a GI specialist, the rectal pain part of this was of particular interest. I had people tell me that their neighbors called 911 every time they went to the bathroom because they thought someone was being murdered.
“There were lots of sleepless nights helping men that had nowhere else to turn. Early on, doctors and nurses had no idea how to diagnose or treat this since it was new. Tons of people were misdiagnosed with herpes or syphilis early on.”
Thomas pays credit to others, such as Grant Roth, who “built a Google Doc with vaccine and testing locations”, community advocate Jeffrey Galaise, and veteran activist, Dan Savage for also sounding the alarm.
“Our community has been through this before, and we took action together at the grassroots level to help stop this when it felt like no one else would help us. We still have work to do as the majority of new infections are in people of color, while vaccination rates are much lower for them. Health inequity is something we struggle with,” Thomas says.
“A real turning point for us in the US was when Dr. Demetre Daskalakis became Deputy Director for Monkeypox strategy. Having a gay man in charge who does all the same stuff we do really made people listen.”
The most important advice for gay men about their sexual health
Queerty asks Dr. Thomas for the most important advice he’d give to gay men.
“Be responsible for your sexual health. Your level of protection is your decision and your responsibility,” he says.
“Know your HIV status. If you are negative and at risk for HIV infection, get on PrEP to prevent it. If you are positive, get treated to undetectable status and stay that way to have a normal life expectancy. Also, be aware that U=U so you can’t spread the virus through sex when undetectable.”
He also tells people to be aware of PEP and get all their relevant vaccinations. He says urine tests alone are not enough if you’re also the receptive partner during sex.
“You need rectal swabs if you bottom and throat swabs if you perform oral sex. And inspect your partner before you play! If something doesn’t look or smell right, don’t play!”
Hurricane Ian nears Florida landfall with 155 mile-per-hour winds, just shy of Category 5
“This is going to be a nasty nasty day, two days,” Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis said early Wednesday, stressing that people in Ian’s path along the coast should rush to the safest possible shelter and stay there.
The massive storm appeared on track to slam ashore somewhere north of Fort Myers and some 125 miles (201 kilometers) south of Tampa, sparing the bay area from a rare direct hit from a hurricane. The area is popular with retirees and tourists drawn to pristine white sandy beaches and long barrier islands, which forecasters said could be completely inundated.
Catastrophic storm surges could push as much as 18 feet (3.6 meters) to 16 feet (4.9 meters) of water over a nearly 100-mile stretch of coastline, from Bonita Beach north through Fort Myers and Charlotte Harbor to Englewood, the hurricane center warned. Rainfall near the area of landfall could top 18 inches (46 centimeters).
“If you are in any of those counties it is no longer possible to safely evacuate. It’s time to hunker down and prepare for the storm,” DeSantis said. “Do what you need to do to stay safe. If you are where that storm is approaching, you’re already in hazardous conditions. It’s going to get a lot worse very quickly. So please hunker down.”
More than 2.5 million people were under mandatory evacuation orders, but by law no one could be forced to flee. The governor said the state has 30,000 linemen, urban search and rescue teams and 7,000 National Guard troops from Florida and elsewhere ready to help once the weather clears.
“The assets we have are unprecedented in the state’s history and, unfortunately, they’ll need to be deployed,” DeSantis said.
Florida residents rushed ahead of the impact to board up their homes, stash precious belongings on upper floors and join long lines of cars leaving the shore.
“You can’t do anything about natural disasters,” said Vinod Nair, who drove inland from the Tampa area Tuesday with his wife, son, dog and two kittens, seeking a hotel in Orlando, where only tropical-storm force winds were expected. “We live in a high risk zone, so we thought it best to evacuate.”
Overnight, Hurricane Ian went through a natural cycle when it lost its old eye and formed a new eye. The timing was bad for the Florida coast, because the storm got stronger and larger only hours before landfall. Ian went from 120 mph (193 kph) to 155 mph (250 kph) in just three hours, the second round of rapid intensification in the storm’s life cycle.
“With the higher intensity you’re going to see more extensive wind damage. The larger wind field means that more people will experience those storm-force winds,” University of Miami hurricane researcher Brian McNoldy said. And “it will really increase the amount of storm surge.”
Ian’s forward movement shifted slightly southward, likely sparing Tampa and St. Petersburg their first direct hit by a major hurricane since 1921.
Instead, the most damaging winds could hit a rapidly developing coastline where the population has jumped sevenfold since 1970, according to the U.S. Census, which shows Lee County has seen the eighth largest population growth among more than 180 Atlantic and Gulf coast counties in the past 50 years.
There were 250,000 people in the Fort Myers/Lee County mandatory evacuation zones, and authorities worried ahead of the storm that only 10% or so would leave.
Gil Gonzalez wasn’t taking any chances. He boarded the windows of his Tampa home with plywood, laid down sandbags, and with his wife, packed their car with bottled water, flashlights, battery packs for their cellphones and a camp stove before evacuating. “All the prized possessions, we’ve put them upstairs in a friend’s house,” Gonzalez said.
Airports in Tampa, St. Petersburg and Key West closed, as did Disney World theme parks and Sea World in Orlando ahead of the storm. Hotels along the coast either filled up or closed down, and with flights canceled, some tourists planned to join locals at emergency shelters.
Ash Dugney warily watched ocean water being sucked out below a Tampa Bay pier Wednesday morning, wondering how strong the surge would be on the way back in. He said he didn’t trust Tampa’s storm drainage system to keep his corner tuxedo rental business safe from flooding that he said happened in his neighborhood even during mild storms.
“I don’t care about the wind and the rain and the stuff like that, I just care about the flooding,” Dugney said, adding that he moved essentials out of the shop and lifted other items up to above waist-high level.
The precise location of landfall was still uncertain, but with Ian’s tropical storm-force winds extending 175 miles (280 kilometers) from its center, flash floods were possible across the whole state. Hazards include the polluted leftovers of Florida’s phosphate fertilizer mining industry, more than 1 billion tons of slightly radioactive waste contained in enormous ponds that could overflow in heavy rains.
Parts of Florida’s east coast faced a storm surge threat as well, and isolated tornadoes were spinning off the storm well ahead of landfall. One tornado damaged small planes and a hangar at the North Perry Airport, west of Hollywood along the Atlantic coast.
Florida Power and Light warned those in Ian’s path to brace for days without electricity. As a precaution, hundreds of residents were being evacuated from several nursing homes in the Tampa area, where hospitals also were moving some patients.
Parts of Georgia and South Carolina also could see flooding rains and some coastal surge into Saturday. Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp preemptively declared an emergency, ordering 500 National Guard troops onto standby to respond as needed.
Before turning toward Florida, Ian struck Cuba’s Pinar del Rio province with sustained winds of 125 mph (205 kph) and causing destruction in the island nation’s world-famous tobacco belt. No deaths were reported.
Local government station TelePinar reported heavy damage at the main hospital in Pinar del Rio city, tweeting photos of collapsed ceilings, widely flung debris and toppled trees. Some people left the stricken area on foot, carrying their children, while buses tried to evacuated others through waterlogged streets. Others opted to stay at their damaged houses.
“It was horrible,” said Yusimi Palacios, a resident of Pinar del Rio inside her damaged house. “But here we are alive, and I only ask the Cuban revolution to help me with the roof and the mattress.”
___
Associated Press contributors include Christina Mesquita in Havana, Cuba; Cody Jackson in Tampa, Florida; Freida Frisaro in Miami; Anthony Izaguirre in Tallahassee, Florida; Mike Schneider in Orlando, Florida; Seth Borenstein in Washington and Bobby Caina Calvan in New York.
New York Yankees’ Aaron Judge hits 60th home run, one shy of Roger Maris’ AL single-season record
NEW YORK — Only five players had hit 60 home runs in a single season in the history of the major leagues — that is, until New York Yankees slugger Aaron Judge joined that exclusive club with a solo homer against the Pittsburgh Pirates on Tuesday night.
The All-Star outfielder is now one home run shy of tying Roger Maris’ American League single-season record of 61 home runs, set in 1961, which also stood as the major league mark for 37 years.
With his 60th home run, the 6-foot-7 Judge also tied Babe Ruth (1927) for eighth place on the single-season home run list as the Yankees rallied for a 39-8 win.
“I have to believe it’s right there with some of the best, very short list of all-time seasons, what he’s doing,” Yankees manager Aaron Boone said of Judge’s nightly chase for baseball history. “Our focus is obviously on winning, and what’s at stake for us as a team. But within that, to watch what he’s doing, you certainly realize what a special season you’re getting to witness.”
There have now been nine 60-home run seasons in MLB history, done by six different players. Judge joined Hall of Famers Ruth and Maris, as well as Barry Bonds (2001), Mark McGwire (1999, 1998) and Sammy Sosa (2001, 1999, 1998).
Judge’s 59 home runs were already the most by a right-handed batter in AL history. Judge had also already joined Ruth (four) and Mickey Mantle (two) as only the third member of the storied Yankees franchise to have multiple 50-HR seasons while wearing pinstripes.
But Maris’ home run record isn’t the only historic mark Judge is chasing.
Judge’s batting average entering Tuesday was .316, one point off Minnesota Twins first baseman Luis Arraez’s AL lead. Judge, who is all but a lock to lead the league in homers and RBIs (127), has a chance to become the 11th player to win the Triple Crown since RBIs became official in 1920.
Taylor Ward hits grand slam, falls single shy of cycle
ANAHEIM — It’s hard to find a hotter hitter in baseball than Angels right fielder Taylor Ward right now.
Ward has been off to a blistering start offensively this season and nearly hit for the cycle in a 9-5 win over the Guardians on Wednesday, falling just a single short of the accomplishment. But he more than made up for it, as he went 3-for-4 with a double in the first, a grand slam in the second, a walk in the fourth and a triple in the sixth to back Shohei Ohtani, who pitched five innings and allowed two runs to pick up his second win.
Incredibly, Ward became just the second player in the Modern Era with a double, a triple, a grand slam and four runs in a game, joining Roger Maris in 1958, according to Stats Inc. Ward, 28, is batting an astounding .395/.531/.816 with four homers, two doubles and nine RBIs through his first 11 games this season after missing eight games with a strained left groin.
“Watching him from the on-deck circle, I just get the vibe he’s going to get a hit every time,” Ohtani said through interpreter Ippei Mizuhara. “I’m sure the opposing pitchers are feeling the same thing.”
The former first-round pick in 2015 has been one of the biggest surprises in baseball and has strengthened the Angels’ star-studded lineup that also includes Mike Trout, Ohtani, Anthony Rendon and Jared Walsh. Ward’s starting job didn’t become secure until veteran Justin Upton was designated for assignment late in Spring Training, but now Ward’s been a major part of an Angels offense that leads the Majors with 95 runs scored and is second with 25 homers.
“It’s fun to be a part of,” Trout said. “He comes in and works hard and keeps his routine and trusts it. And it’s paying off in the field right now. I think his mindset has really helped him.”
Ward came up to the plate in the seventh with a chance to become just the 10th player in AL/NL history to hit for a cycle with a grand slam. But he flied out to right on a first-pitch slider from lefty Logan Allen and didn’t get another chance to hit in the eighth.
“I was just thinking about it too much,” Ward said. “I got out of my plan and kind of popped it. I wish I would’ve taken that pitch and battled with him a little more.”
Ward was moved up to the leadoff spot in the lineup on Monday because of his hot start, as the Angels moved down Ohtani to the No. 2 spot in the order. Ward responded by homering twice on Monday and also went 1-for-4 with a run scored on Tuesday.
He sparked a two-run rally in the first with a leadoff double off Guardians right-hander Zach Plesac after Ohtani allowed a two-run homer to José Ramírez in the top half. Ward came up to the plate again in the second with the bases loaded and delivered his second career grand slam to put the Angels up by four runs.
“Ward is really setting the tone right now, my gosh,” Angels manager Joe Maddon said. “The grand slam really put us on the right side of things.”
Ward showed his patience in the fourth, drawing his 11th walk in 11 games. The Angels eventually loaded the bases that inning, scoring a run on an RBI single from Walsh that saw Ohtani get caught in a rundown between third and home.
The possibility of a cycle became much more realistic with Ward’s triple in the sixth off Allen. Ward drove an 0-1 cutter to deep center and Myles Straw couldn’t handle it, allowing Ward to reach third for his third career triple.
“Once I realized it wasn’t out of the ballpark, I turned it on,” Ward said. “I should probably have busted out of there a little bit. Once I saw it kick, I turned it on, but I wasn’t thinking about the cycle at that point.”
And while Ward lamented not getting a single in his final at-bat, he said he’ll learn from his experience and not put excess pressure on himself in future situations. He’s credited a change in his mental approach for his recent success, as he showed flashes of it last year, when he hit .250/.332/.435 with eight homers and 33 RBIs in 65 games, but now he’s starting to put it all together.
“Honestly, it’s something I feel like should’ve already been happening, but I’m here now,” Ward said. “And I’m blessed to be here and just want to keep the blinders on and stay focused on this season.”
Betty White, working actress into her 90s, dies just shy of her 100th birthday
Dec 31 (Reuters) – Comedic actress Betty White, who capped a career of more than 80 years by becoming America’s geriatric sweetheart after Emmy-winning roles on television sitcoms “The Golden Girls” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” died on Friday, less than three weeks shy of her 100th birthday.
The agent, Jeff Witjas, told People magazine: “Even though Betty was about to be 100, I thought she would live forever.” No cause was cited.
In a youth-driven entertainment industry where an actress over 40 faces career twilight, White was an anomaly who was a star in her 60s and a pop culture phenomenon in her 80s and 90s.
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Playing on her eminent likability, White was still starring in a TV sitcom, “Hot in Cleveland,” at age 92 until it was canceled in late 2014.
White said her longevity was a result of good health, good fortune and loving her work.
“It’s incredible that I’m still in this business and that you are still putting up with me,” White said in an appearance at the 2018 Emmy Awards ceremony, where she was honored for her long career. “It’s incredible that you can stay in a career this long and still have people put up with you. I wish they did that at home.”
White was not afraid to mock herself and throw out a joke about her sex life or a snarky crack that one would not expect from a sweet-smiling, white-haired elderly woman. She was frequently asked if, after such a long career, there was anything she still wanted to do and the standard response was “Robert Redford.”
“She was great at defying expectation. She managed to grow very old and somehow, not old enough. We’ll miss you, Betty,” former costar and friend Ryan Reynolds wrote in a Twitter post.
“Old age hasn’t diminished her,” the New York Times wrote in 2013. “It has given her a second wind.”
Minutes after news emerged of her death, U.S. President Joe Biden told reporters: “That’s a shame. She was a lovely lady.” His wife Jill Biden said: “Who didn’t love Betty White? We’re so sad about her death.”
Betty Marion White was born on Jan. 17, 1922, in Oak Park, Illinois, and her family moved to Los Angeles during the Great Depression, where she attended Beverly Hills High School.
A DEBUT IN THE 1930s
Cast member Betty White attends the premiere of the 3-D animated film “Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax” in Los Angeles February 19, 2012. REUTERS/Phil McCarten/File Photo
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White started her entertainment career in radio in the late 1930s and by 1939 had made her TV debut singing on an experimental channel in Los Angeles. After serving in the American Women’s Voluntary Service, which helped the U.S. effort during World War Two, she was a regular on “Hollywood on Television,” a daily five-hour live variety show, in 1949.
A few years later she became a pioneering woman in television by co-founding a production company and serving as a co-creator, producer and star of the 1950s sitcom “Life with Elizabeth.”
Through the 1960s and early ’70s White was seen regularly on television, hosting coverage of the annual Tournament of Rose Parade and appearing on game shows such as “Match Game” and “Password.” She married “Password” host Allen Ludden, her third and final husband, in 1963.
White reached a new level of success on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” playing the host of a home-making television show, the snide, lusty Sue Ann Nivens, whose credo was “a woman who does a good job in the kitchen is sure to reap her rewards in other parts of the house.” White won best-supporting actress Emmys for the role in 1975 and 1976.
She won another Emmy in 1986 for “The Golden Girls,” a sitcom about four older women living together in Miami that featured an age demographic rarely highlighted on American television. White also was nominated for an Emmy six other times for her portrayal of the widowed Rose Nylund, a sweet, naive and ditzy Midwesterner, on the show, which ran from 1985 to 1992 and was one of the top-rated series of its time.
After a less successful sequel to “The Golden Girls” came a series of small movie parts, talk-show appearances and one-off television roles, including one that won her an Emmy for a guest appearance on “The John Larroquette Show.”
By 2009 she was becoming ubiquitous with more frequent television appearances and a role in the Sandra Bullock film “The Proposal.” She starred in a popular Snickers candy commercial that aired during the Super Bowl, taking a brutal hit in a mud puddle in a football game.
A young fan started a Facebook campaign to have White host “Saturday Night Live” and she ended up appearing in every sketch on the show and winning still another Emmy for it.
The Associated Press voted her entertainer of the year in 2010 and a 2011 Reuters/Ipsos poll found that White, then 89, was the most popular and trusted celebrity in America with an 86% favorability rating.
White’s witty and brassy demeanor came in handy as host of “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers,” a hidden-camera show in which elderly actors pulled pranks on younger people.
“Who would ever dream that I would not only be this healthy, but still be invited to work?” White said in a 2015 interview with Oprah Winfrey.
White, who had no children, worked for animal causes. She once turned down a role in the movie “As Good as It Gets” because of a scene in which a dog was thrown in a garbage chute.
She looked forward to her milestone birthday, writing on Twitter just three days before her death, “My 100th birthday … I cannot believe it is coming up.”
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Writing by Bill Trott; Additional reporting by Jarrett Renshaw and Doina Chiacu; Editing by Diane Craft, Howard Goller and Lisa Shumaker
Our Standards: The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles.
Some People Shy Away From Restaurants as Delta Variant Spreads
Some consumers are rethinking their return to dining out, according to executives and industry data, a shift that threatens the U.S. restaurant sector’s rebound.
Restaurants that survived waves of closures last year had headed into the summer with rising optimism as most of the country ended dine-in occupancy restrictions. Bigger delivery and online ordering business boosted sit-down chains in recent months, including Ruth’s Hospitality Group Inc. and Outback Steakhouse owner Bloomin’ Brands Inc.
However, individual operators and recent industry data now point to a more mixed picture, particularly in U.S. markets hit hard by Covid-19 outbreaks and renewed coronavirus-related advisories. Recent consumer surveys show the Delta variant prompted Americans who say they are the most restricted in their activities to start pulling back their activities again late last month.
Chris Downs, a 32-year-old mechanical engineer from St. Louis County, Mo., had returned to dining out at restaurants in May after getting vaccinated, allowing him to celebrate his dad’s birthday and see friends again. Now, with Delta, he’s stopped dining out for fear of getting the virus.
“I am back to mostly cooking all meals at home,” Mr. Downs said.