Tag Archives: Recap

Recap: Denver Nuggets collapse in second half, get blown out by Los Angeles Lakers

The Denver Nuggets got off to a hot start against the Los Angeles Lakers and led by double digits at half time. Unfortunately, a heavy Lakers whistle and a heavy dose of LeBron James combined with a complete meltdown from Denver ended up making the game do a 180. LeBron got a triple double while Nikola Jokic had a quiet night and the Lakers once again proved to be too much for Denver.

Jokic started the game by feasting on Marc Gasol who could do nothing to stop him. That helped Denver open up a five point lead but LeBron was also playing well which kept Denver from getting ahead by more. Jamal Murray also was aggressive to start with a couple buckets early on. The Lakers hung tough behind LeBron though and the game was very tight when the benches started coming in. Dennis Shroder and Anthony Davis carried the load while LeBron got a rest. Denver’s bench got a boost from Monte Morris and Michael Porter Jr. though to keep them in front. After one it was Nuggets thirty, Lakers twenty-seven.

The bench was filled with energy to start the second quarter and they utilized a 2-3 zone which gave the Lakers some issues. That helped the lead grow for Denver, who got ahead by six behind Morris, MPJ and JaMychal Green. The Lakers pushed back but they couldn’t string together enough baskets to cut into Denver’s lead. Unfortunately right when LA went cold so did Denver so their lead stayed right around 8 for several minutes. The Lakers flat out couldn’t buy a bucket though and eventually the Nuggets lead pushed to double digits. LeBron really was the anyone doing anything for LA, though the TNT announcing crew thought Schroder elevated to all NBA by diving on the floor. The Nuggets offense stalled a bit with the half ending but it didn’t hurt them much. At the close of the second they were still up by a dozen.

The second half opened with three quick foul calls on Denver in the first ninety seconds including a pair of and-ones for the Lakers. Every single call went LA’s way early in the third and the Nugget lead was down to five forcing Michael Malone to take a timeout. The Nuggets found some momentum behind Murray to hold off the Lakers run and held the lead at five at the halfway point of the quarter. The Lakers weren’t doing much in the way of offense but they got to the free throw line and kept the pressure on Denver. The Nuggets went ice cold with the quarter winding down and a nice fade away from LeBron got the Lakers the lead with a little over a minute to go. The next ninety seconds were the worst Denver’s bench has probably played all season, falling behind by eight on a 15-0 Los Angeles run.

The Nuggets offered no resistance to start the fourth which made Malone call a rage timeout with little over a minute gone in the fourth. The Nuggets play was just sloppy. They’d get a bucket but then fall asleep on defense or turn it over on the other way down. The Lakers lead ballooned to fourteen and it felt like all the air was out of Denver’s sails. Jokic took one last stab at it and got Denver within ten before a Lakers timeout and subsequent 5-0 run pushed the lead right back up again. Lebron threw a few more highlight passes and messed around and picked up a triple double. The deep bench checked in and it was done. Nuggets collapse in the second half, lose 114-93.

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2021 WWE Royal Rumble results, recap, grades: Edge, Bianca Belair emerge as winners on strong show

While there are other meaningful matches on every WWE Royal Rumble pay-per-view card, the Royal Rumble matches themselves are the true highlight of the annual event. In 2021, both the men’s and women’s side featured impressive performances that saw the winners last nearly a full hour before securing their shot at a world title at WrestleMania.

On the women’s side, Bianca Belair battled from the No. 3 spot, outlasting 29 other women before last eliminating Rhea Ripley. While Belair represents the new blood on the WWE roster, the men’s side was won by a legend when Edge last eliminated Randy Orton to secure his title shot. Edge’s win was the second time he had won a Royal Rumble match, this effort coming 11 years to the day after his previous victory.

Those two matches will be the lasting memories from the 2021 WWE Royal Rumble pay-per-view, but the card was filled with entertaining and satisfying action from top to bottom.

CBS Sports was with you the whole way through the event, providing results and grades as the action went down. Read on for everything you need to know coming out of the Royal Rumble and scroll further for highlights from the show.

2021 WWE Royal Rumble results, grades

Women’s Tag Team Championship — Charlotte Flair & Asuka (c) vs. Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler (Kickoff Show): Flair and Asuka got things off to a good start, with Flair handling Baszler before Asuka took the fight to Jax. Baszler and Jax eventually took over by isolating Asuka and wearing her down while an anxious Flair paced on the ring apron. Flair eventually got the hot tag and ran through Baszler before hitting a double Natural Selection and scoring a near fall. Ric Flair’s music hit, leading to a distraction that almost allowed Baszler to score a roll-up on Charlotte. Lacey Evans then interrupted from ringside, including pulling Charlotte’s arms out while she was in the Figure Eight. Ric handed Evans something to load her fist and hit the Women’s Right when Charlotte locked in the hold again, setting up Jax to pin Charlotte after a leg drop for the win to capture the titles. The match was fine, but the ending was entirely predictable and the tag titles continue to be more prop than valuable asset.  Jax & Baszler def. Flair & Asuka (c) via pinfall to win the titles — Grade: B-

WWE Championship — Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Goldberg: McIntyre hit Goldberg with the Glasgow Kiss dropped him with a spear before the match started, taking the action outside where Goldberg threw him into the ring steps before spearing him through the barricade. McIntyre eventually made his way back into the ring for the bell to ring, starting the match. McIntyre hit a Claymore seconds later, but Goldberg kicked out. Goldberg followed with two more spears for his own near fall. McIntyre again kicked out after a Jackhammer. McIntyre hit another Claymore, scoring the pin and retaining the title. After the match, Goldberg nodded, told McIntyre “You passed the test,” and the two shared a handshake and hug. The match was short, as expected, and followed the “Goldberg Formula,” for better or worse. For a match nobody really wanted to see, it was as inoffensive as possible, if unspectacular. McIntyre (c) def. Goldberg via pinfall to retain the title — Grade: C+

SmackDown Women’s Championship — Sasha Banks (c) vs. Carmella: Banks was one step ahead early, but interference from Reginald allowed Carmella to take over the action outside put Banks on the defensive. Carmella continued to blast away at Banks with elbows and forearms and Banks began grabbing at her knee after hitting a meteora, allowing Carmella to continue running the match. Carmella threw Banks from the ring, where she was caught by Reginald. After Banks hit a huricanrana on Reginald, he was ejected from ringside, but Carmella hit Banks — and the floor — face-first on a suicide dive. Banks started rolling but Carmella countered a frog splash by getting her knees up and then locked in the Code of Silence to nearly force a submission. Moments later, it was Banks who got the submission with the Banks Statement, retaining her title. Carmella is a limited worker in some ways, but when she is working heel against a very good wrestler like Banks, she can more than hold her own playing into nastier offensive tendencies. Not everything here was smooth, but Banks is so good and Carmella good enough that there was plenty to like. Banks (c) def. Carmella via submission to retain the title — Grade: B 

Women’s Royal Rumble: Bayley and Naomi started as No. 1 and 2, respectively. There were no eliminations before Bayley had to deal with her rival in No. 3 entrant Bianca Belair. After coming out at No. 4, Billie Kay settled in at the announce table rather than enter the ring before the first NXT entrant of the night, Shotzi Blackheart. Contestants continued to pile up as no eliminations were scored until Shayna Baszler dumped Blackheart for the first elimination of the match. Former superstar Jillian Hall was the first true surprise entrant of the night, forming an alliance with Kay to form “Billie and Jilly.” Victoria also made her return, entering the match at No. 10. Participants continued to pile up in the ring with eliminations hard to come by before Hall was finally the second woman out, followed by Kay and the match settled into a more familiar rhythm after Rhea Ripley entered the match and she and Baszler began to clear out the ring.

Ric Flair’s music hit — with Charlotte already in the ring — though Ric was only there to escort Lacey Evans to the ring, wearing the same robe as Charlotte wore earlier in the night. Charlotte and Evans battled immediately before an angry Flair turned her attention back to the rest of the participants. Mickie James also made her return, coming in at No. 19. Another return came at No. 21 with Alicia Fox, but R-Truth’s music hit right after and he announced he was at the wrong Royal Rumble before being pursued by 24/7 title seekers, only to be pinned by Fox to win her the 24/7 belt. 

Ripley continued to impress, scoring several eliminations. Belair also continued hanging around despite her No. 2 entry into the match. In the near-elimination spot, Naomi was thrown from the ring but landed on her back with her feet in the air, she then used Belair to climb her way back into the ring. Alexa Bliss entered at No. 27 and as she was preparing to transform as in recent weeks, Ripley eliminated her from behind. Nia Jax entered and she and Baszler went on a run of eliminations to thin the field late before brawling with each other and Jax eventually eliminated Baszler and was the eliminated by Lana before Natalya entered in the No. 30 spot to complete the field.

The final four in the match came down to Natalya, Belair, Flair and Ripley. Belair eliminated Natalya first and then Ripley and Belair teamed up to knock Flair from the match, leaving Ripley and Belair as the final two women in the match. The two battled back and forth in an extended segment with several near eliminations before Belair managed to knock Ripley from the ring with a clothesline to win the match. This was a bit of a rocky match at parts, many of the bigger issues being matters of production than in-ring, though some stretches dragged a bit. Belair is a great choice to win and coming down to Belair and Ripley showed how bright the future of the women’s division is for WWE going forward. Belair also set a record for longest entry in a women’s Rumble match. Bianca Belair won the women’s Royal Rumble in 56:49 — Grade: B

1

Bayley

Blackheart (Baszler)

2

Naomi

Hall (Kay)

3

Bianca Belair

Kay (Morgan)

4

Billie Kay

Storm (Ripley)

5

Shotzi Blackheart

Victoria (Baszler 2)

6

Shayna Baszler

Garrett (Ripley 2)

7

Toni Storm

Riott (Bayley)

8

Jillian Hall

Morgan (Royce)

9

Ruby Riott

Brooke (Ripley 3)

10

Victoria

Royce (Flair)

11

Peyton Royce

Wilson (Baszler 3)

12

Santana Garrett

Bayley (Belair)

13

Liv Morgan

Fox (Rose)

14

Rhea Ripley

James (Evans)

15

Charlotte Flair

Kai (Ripley 4)

16

Dana Brooke

Rose (Ripley 5)

17

Torrie Wilson

Cross (Carmella)

18

Lacey Evans

Carmella (Ripley 6)

19

Mickie James

Bliss (Ripley 7)

20

Nikki Cross

Evans (Baszler 4)

21

Alicia Fox

Moon (Jax)

22

Mandy Rose

Naomi (Jax 2)

23

Dakota Kai

Tamina (Jax 3)

24

Carmella

Baszler (Jax 4)

25

Tamina

Jax (Lana)

26

Lana

Lana (Natalya)

27

Alexa Bliss

Natalya (Belair 2)

28

Ember Moon

Flair (Belair 3)

29

Nia Jax

Ripley (Belair 4)

30

Natalya

Winner: Belair (56:49)

Men’s Royal Rumble: No. 1 entrant Edge attacked No. 2 entrant Randy Orton before Orton even made it to the ring. They continued to brawl around ringside until Sami Zayn entered at No. 3 and took out the leg of Edge, helping Orton work him over. Mustafa Ali joined in on the attack at No. 4, with Edge facing increasingly long odds until Jeff Hardy entered to help even things up.The first elimination came when Dolph Ziggler entered the match and immediately eliminated Jeff Hardy. Carlito was the first surprise entrant, coming into the match at No. 8. Orton was shown being helped to the back by officials, limping after the attack of Edge. Damien Priest was the first NXT star to make his way into the match, coming in at No. 14 and making his first appearance in a Royal Rumble. The Miz destroyed Bad Bunny’s DJ booth on his way to the ring, leading Bunny to walk to the ring, distracting Miz and John Morrison and allowing Priest to eliminate both. Bunny then hit a crossbody from the top rope to the outside on Miz and Morrison. Daniel Bryan, one of the favorites coming into the match, made his entrance at No. 17. Kane returned at No. 18, chokeslamming many of the current entrants and eliminating Dolph Ziggler and Ricochet before being tossed by Priest.

Bobby Lashley made a big entrance, running through Dominik Mysterio and Priest, eliminating both before a big showdown with Big E that saw both men brawl and exchange counters before the surprise entrance of The Hurricane, who was quickly tossed by Lashley and Big E. With Edge still in the match, Christian entered the match at No. 24. Christian helped Riddle, Bryan and Big E eliminate Lashley. Big E was eliminated from the match when Omos reached into the ring and pulled him to the floor. Omos also eliminated Rey Mysterio, giving some big help to AJ Styles.

Seth Rollins made his return at No. 29, his first match since Survivor Series, after which he took time off to be with Becky Lynch for the birth of their child. Braun Strowman was the final entrant into the match. Strowman went on a run of eliminations, bringing the final six to Rollins, Riddle, Edge, Christian, Bryan and Strowman — although Orton had not actually been eliminated when he was taken to the back. Rollins eliminated Bryan after hiding out on the outside of the ring and then eliminated Riddle to bring the match down to Strowman, Rollins, Edge and Christian. Edge and Christian worked together to eliminate Strowman and Edge eliminated Rollins, seemingly winning the match, but Orton ran back into the match and hit an RKO. Orton’s attempt to eliminate Edge backfired, however, as Edge reversed and tossed Orton to the floor, winning the Rumble from the No. 1 spot, lasting more than 58 minutes to win his second Royal Rumble. This dragged far less than the women’s Royal Rumble earlier and didn’t feel like it relied on as many gimmicky surprise entrants, though there were some. Edge was an interesting choice and told a great story as he’s taking one more ride to WrestleMania and a shot at a world championship. Edge wins the Men’s Royal Rumble match. Edge won the men’s Royal Rumble — Grade: A-

1

Edge

Hardy (Ziggler)

2

Randy Orton

Zayn (Big E)

3

Sami Zayn

Woods (Ali)

4

Mustafa Ali

Ali (Big E 2)

5

Jeff Hardy

Carlito (Elias)

6

Dolph Ziggler

Elias (Priest)

7

Shinsuke Nakamura

Miz (Priest 2)

8

Carlito

Morrison (Priest 3)

9

Xavier Woods

Ziggler (Kane)

10

Big E

Ricochet (Kane 2)

11

John Morrison

Kane (Priest 4)

12

Ricochet

Nakamura (Corbin)

13

Elias

Otis (Corbin 2)

14

Damian Priest

Corbin (D. Mysterio)

15

The Miz

D. Mysterio (Lashley)

16

Riddle

Priest (Lashley 2)

17

Daniel Bryan

Helms (Lashley 3)

18

Kane

Lashley (Bryan)

19

King Corbin

Big E (n/a)

20

Otis

R. Mysterio (n/a)

21

Dominik Mysterio

Cesaro (Strowman)

22

Bobby Lashley

Sheamus (Strowman 2)

23

Hurricane Helms

Styles (Strowman 3)

24

Christian

Bryan (Rollins)

25

AJ Styles

Riddle (Rollins 2)

26

Rey Mysterio

Strowman (Edge)

27

Sheamus

Christian (Rollins)

28

Cesaro

Rollins (Edge 2)

29

Seth Rollins

Orton (Edge 3)

30

Braun Strowman

Winner: Edge ()

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NXT recap & reactions: Spinning the Wheels

NXT returned last night (Jan. 27) from the Capitol Wrestling Center (CWC) in Orlando, Florida. You can find the results from the live blog here.

Spinning the Wheels

The main event this week was a tag match, in a show jam packed with them, featuring the former enemies Finn Bálor & Kyle O’Reilly facing the tag team champions of Oney Lorcan & Danny Burch in a non-title match.

The match itself was good, though it was easy to be tired of tag team matches given there were so many. Finn Bálor played the face in peril with the heels working his arm, and O’Reilly was the hot tag who won decisively with a submission.

After the match, Pete Dunne showed up to employ a handicap beat down of the victors before Adam Cole and Roderick Strong ran the Kings of NXT off.

All in all, this angle is spinning its wheels. Kyle and Finn had an entertaining feud against each other, but there’s little spark in this story of them playing reluctant allies against Pete Dunne and the tag champs. In general, NXT has been missing a spark, and much of the issue is there’s nothing hot going on with the main titles. (The women’s title still doesn’t have clear direction, only starting to unveil that after weeks.)

I do give them props for making the act of Finn Bálor literally stepping back to stand shoulder to shoulder with the ERA feel like a very important moment, but that wasn’t enough to make this feel main event worthy.

This story needs a spark to make it feel deserving of a top spot on a card with TakeOver only a couple weeks away.


Friendship Goals

Raquel González and Dakota Kai predictably defeated Jessi Kamea and Aliyah to advance in the Dusty.

There isn’t much to say about the match. Dakota did much of the work, but González took care of business in the end. It wasn’t anything spectacular but did what it set out to do: Remind us that González is dominant.

However, what I appreciate the most is the evolving relationship between Dakota Kai and Raquel González. Raquel debuted as Dakota’s bodyguard last year. She was clearly working for Kai, with the focus being advancing Kai’s career.

Then Raquel started to breakout on her own, and instead of dropping the team or feuding, the dynamic shifted. Dakota was more than happy to try to play the role of support for the ascending González. She even got closed into a locker for her aid during Raquel’s Last Woman Standing match against Rhea Ripley. And now they’re functioning as a team, both working to that common goal.

They may be bad gals, but I dig this friendship.


Elevation

The opening bout in the night of tags featured MSK taking on Drake Maverick & Killian Dain.

One thing I have in general appreciated about the Dusty Classic is how they use it to elevate tag teams to a more serious status. Dain and Drake were a ful on comedy bit when they started off. With time and now a spot in the Dusty, they were featured as more of a respectable tag team.

They DNA of the team is still there: Dain is the threat and Maverick is the ‘weak link.’ But this week, Drake held his own. He wasn’t the liability as he had played in the past. That’s important if they want this team to be more than just a comedy act. (Which to be fair, if that’s what NXT wants, that’s a good role for them.)

The team still doesn’t feel like a cohesive unit. There’s still a feel of two guys who are in a tag team match together as opposed to a duo actually working together. It’s part of who they are, though hopefully they evolve into more of a team.

On the other side of the ring, MSK are very exciting. I have some experience watching them as the Rascalz in Impact, but I’m many months removed from watching Impact so I don’t know the caliber of work when they left. That said, they feel more special here. They’re unique in style and personality. I was excited for this match because of them this week and I’m excited to see what they do next round.


Superb Underdog

My favorite match of the night was the Dusty quarterfinal bout where the Grizzled Young Veterans defeating Kushida and Leon Ruff.

It was the only Dusty match of the night that really felt like the finish wasn’t the foregone conclusion. Yes, GYV were the favorites. But Ruff and Kushida picked up a big first round win.

This match accomplished the task of getting me to a point that I really wanted the underdog team to win. Leon Ruff just does a fantastic job working a match as a sympathetic character. His personality makes it so easy to root for him. Meanwhile, the GYV aren’t flashy, but their style allows you to easily root against them. Then it’s all the more disappointing when they win.

After the match. Johnny Gargano and Austin Theory attacked Ruff & Kushy, revenge for their loss to them last week. They were eventually scared off by Dexter Lumis, who has issues with the Way as well given he lost a North American title match in a less than clean manner.


Who’s next?

It looks like Io Shirai may have to defend her title in a triple threat match.

Toni Storm called out the champ, but after Shirai answered, Mercedes Martinez inserted herself into all of this. With Storm and Martinez not on the same page despite being a one and done tag team, there’s enough here to go with the triple threat.

Honestly, a triple threat makes sense. There are so many women deserving of a title match, running a program with two of them at once helps move the line along. And if there’s a person they want for a singles match with the champ down the line, they don’t take the pin.

It’s not official, but it’s our best guess of what’s next for the champion.


All the Rest:

– Bronson Reed went over Isaiah “Swerve” Scott. It’s clear they’re building up Reed big time. I question doing it at the expense of Swerve, who hasn’t won anything of significance at all in his time in NXT. I think a win to split a series with Jake Atlas (who also never wins) was his biggest achievement. They need to find a program for Scott he can walk out victorious.

– Curt Stallion was supposed to have a cruiserweight title match this week. But he was attacked prior so it was push until next week. William Regal figures El Legado del Fantasma are the culprits, and while he’s probably right, Karrion Kross leaving a calling card on Santos Escobar’s bag makes me wonder if he’s the real attacker. I don’t see what his motive would be though.

– Malcolm Bivens scheduled Tyler Rust a cupcake match up to pick up an easy week after Rust tried to do his own business last week and booked himself in a match with Bronson Reed. Rust won so Malcolm is earning is money.


With the abundance of tag matches and lack of any real hot angles, this show felt like it dragged on. Nothing was outwardly bad. Each segment would have worked well on a show that had some hot angles. But this felt like a bunch of supplemental stories strung together, leaving this to feel like a duller episode of NXT.

Grade: C+

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‘Big Sky’ Recap: Season 1, Episode 6

Big Sky‘s Merrilee Legarski might want to hold off on planning a funeral for her husband, Rick… because, as we learn at the end of the series’ winter premiere, he’s not dead!

As viewers will recall, Cassie Dewell fired a bullet into the Montana state trooper’s forehead at the end of the fall finale, right after she found him with the three women he was planning to traffic to Canada. And that’s where Tuesday’s episode picks up, with Legarski bleeding out on the floor of the All In Bar’s basement. He’s transported to the hospital, where he flatlines but is revived yet comatose.

Cassie is incredibly shaken by what she’s done; throughout the episode, she (understandably) hovers on the edge of a panic attack. When Jenny arrives on the scene as emergency personnel are seeing to Jerrie, Grace and Danielle, she’s full of hope about Cody. But that’s quickly dashed when Sheriff Tubb’s officers excavate Cody’s truck, with the dead P.I.’s body inside. Jenny screams and falls to her knees in grief, while Cassie looks on and silently cries. (Side note: Even in her deep loss, this woman’s commitment to a detailed braid is commendable. At one point in the hour, even when she’s been sobbing her eyes out at home, Jenny is rocking a plait that would make Elsa jealous.)

At home, Ronald and his mom are freaking out. The police are going to search Legarski’s house to try to link him to the sex-trafficking, and if they find the hidden room where Rick kept all of his records, Ronald is toast. What’s more: Thanks to the recovered victims, the cops know that the other kidnapper is a long-haul trucker with a custom paint job on his vehicle. So Ronald repaints the cab of his truck and messes with the license plate, then hatches a plan to break into the Legarski home to eradicate anything tying him to the crime. (There’s still the rather huge part about Grace, Jerrie and Danielle being able to identify him, but ONE THING AT A TIME, MOTHER!)

Jenny and her son, Justin, hold a funeral and memorial service for Cody; the reception afterward includes some warm moments between the widow and Cassie, including when Cassie steps on stage to sing Neil Young’s “Harvest” — Cody’s favorite song — after a choked-up Jenny can’t make it through. Afterward, both women find themselves back at the office. “I never thought it would be you that would help me get through this,” Jenny tells her, and the bonding moment prompts Cassie to offer Jenny Cody’s spot in the private-investigator practice. Jenny scoffs, but eventually agrees — just until the Legarski case is put to bed.

Elsewhere, Jerrie is walking home when a man wearing a baseball cap calls her name and starts chasing her. Turns out, it’s just a guy she knows named Jimmy who “wanted to make sure you were OK.” The dynamic between them is a little unclear — it seems like he likes her, but she tells him the days she could talk to him “are over.” Still, she seems like she might actually like his concern. At her place, though, there’s a note reading “You don’t learn” on the door, harkening back to what Ronald often said to his captives.

Unbeknownst to everyone, over at the hospital, Rick’s fingers twitch, his heart rate monitor starts beeping faster, and then he opens an eye!

Now it’s your turn. What did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments!



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RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap, Season 13 Episode 4

Welcome, compatriots, to the first elimination episode of the season. Finally! The first three weeks of season 13 have been a lovely run of RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, but it brings me great pleasure to report that this week we finally see a contestant cry. Don’t get me wrong: First and foremost, I watch Drag Race for the immense and diverse talents of all the contestants, of course. In fact, that’s exactly why I was excited for this episode, which celebrates the two most ubiquitous drag queen talents of all: conflict and emotional manipulation!

And the queens truly get right to it. Group one (the self-ordained “Winner’s Circle”) decides to stage a sting operation to embarrass group two (“the B-squad”) by hiding Elliott behind a dividing curtain in the back of the werkroom. The idea here is that they can trick the queens into shit-talking Elliott while she’s in the room. This plan doesn’t make sense to me for two reasons: The first is that you usually don’t have to “trick” drag queens into being mean to you. And the second is that I don’t understand what Elliott gets out of this. She already has confirmation that the other queens dislike her, because, well, they sent her home unanimously. So now, by hiding behind the curtain, she gets the privilege of … hearing them say it again? A half-baked plan, to be sure, but Elliott seems to find perverse joy in revealing to a crowd of crestfallen entertainers that, yes, she’s still here.

After the queens have sized each other up, RuPaul enters and gets straight to business. For this week’s main challenge, the queens are divided into teams and tasked with acting in RuPaulmark Channel holiday movies, movies with near-identical scripts and characters that satirize the formulaic nature of the Hallmark Christmas movie. It’s a clever setup that really evens the playing field. Denali can’t claim she got the short end of the stick, for instance, because Tina and Symone had the exact same lines and did just fine. This also benefits the audience, since we get to directly compare the comedy skills of the assembled cast for the first time.

Now, as with any Drag Race acting challenge, we have the good (Symone, Rosé), the bad (Denali, LaLa) and the transcendent (Kahmora). Let’s discuss:

“God Loves Flags”

Let’s save the best for first. Symone and Rosé carry their team to a definitive victory with their Flag Day parody “God Loves Flags.” Symone stars as evil, closeted CEO Red Flag; she keeps the judges cackling from start to finish with her now-iconic facial expressions and inscrutable pronunciation of the work “factory.” Rosé plays her … Best friend? Love interest? Who cares. The only thing that matters is that she glued shoes to her knees, a truly inspired choice. Their presences buoy the much weaker LaLa Ri and Utica, who are both more than a little shaky and can’t seem to translate their winning personalities to this scripted challenge. Or memorize their lines for that matter! The judges heap praise onto Rosé and Symone, but Symone’s stellar du-rag-train runway steals the show. The judges are gagged, as are we all, and RuPaul tells Symone “You’re a winner, baby” for the third time in four episodes. Symone’s momentum is undeniable at this point. She’s somehow lapped the other girls before the referee has even had a chance to start his stopwatch. Of course, it’s still early, and you may recall another young, stunning L.A. queen with an unimpeachable early-season run who was prematurely declared the season’s victor (by me … shut up). But, in my view, the comparisons end there. There was a cockiness to Gigi Goode that I don’t sense at all in Symone. Perhaps it’s her firmly rooted sense of purpose and maturity, or perhaps it’s simply good old-fashioned midwestern manners, but Symone feels grounded to me. And I think that will serve her well as we enter the marathon phase of this competition.

“April Fool’s Rush In”

Next up, in a solid second place, it’s Team “April Fool’s Rush In” starring Gottmik, Joey Jay, Kandy Muse, and Tamisha Iman. Gottmik and Tina are the stars, in theory, but Kandy steals the show as Whoopi Cushion, a clown employee of the small-town novelty gift shop. Kandy wants this part so bad that she stakes her claim before the other girls even have a chance to open their scripts. It’s certainly obnoxious, but it’s hard to stay mad at someone as entertaining as Kandy. As Gottmik astutely summarizes: “Well … props to you. That was kind of everything, but not sure that’s how that works.” Yes, Kandy may be a tough pill to swallow, but the high you get is worth it. Tamisha also has some standout moments as a fortune teller/Cher impersonator. She responds to Ross’s direction well (unlike Joey Jay), and the results in the final product speak for themselves. Tamisha is safe, and Kandy might have been a top contender if not for her runway. Don’t get me wrong, the garment is beautiful, but Michelle is right that it’s not quite the category and there’s really no story to speak of when compared to some of the other girls. But the judges love them some Kandy, and it’s a solid rebound after her low placement last challenge.

“Misery Loves Company”

Finally, let’s talk about the team with the most to lose, “Misery Loves Company.” Denali wants to show she can stand out among titans like Symone, Elliott wants to prove she’s not the worst one here, Kahmora needs to make up for last episode’s disaster, and Olivia … is just chilling! Denali talked a big game this week. And last week. And the week before. She tells us repeatedly that she’s the fiercest competitor, the one to beat, and (most relevant) more than just a fierce lip-syncer. Unfortunately, Denali collapses under the burden of her own expectations. Before the other girls can get a word in, she insists on biting off the biggest role, which she later realizes is a bit more than she can chew. This leaves Elliott to play the ditzy cupid (“I actually am stupid,” she explains), Kahmora as a tree (more on that in a moment), and Olivia affably accepts the grandma (she’s just happy to be there). In rehearsal, we watch Denali strike out. The lines aren’t coming, and there’s no characterization to speak of. On the runway, she’s a knockout, but it’s apparently not enough to make up for her grave miscalculation. But Denali’s struggles are truly nothing when compared to her sister Kahmora’s. For context, Kahmora is playing a completely green-screened tree. Why then, an astute observer might ask, does Kahmora show up to set wearing full hip/ass pads and a breastplate with erect nipples? I cannot answer this, as my mind does not operate on the same plane of consciousness as hers. Kahmora seemingly has a total of two lines, takes up 80 percent of everyone’s time and attention on set (VERY me), and ultimately fails to deliver one of those two lines correctly. Needless to say, I am obsessed. Much like Denali, her impeccable runway doesn’t save her, and it’s Chicago vs. Chicago in the bottom two.

The lip sync is a bloodbath. Denali has proved one thing for certain: She is indeed the lip-sync assassin of the season. She brings Olympic-level athleticism and precision to her incredible performance of “100% Pure Love,” and it’s over within seconds. “Stop!” I wanted to shout. “She’s already dead!” But Denali is ruthless. She shows so little mercy for her Chicago sister, I’m pretty sure it’s a violation of at least two Geneva Conventions. Denali is declared the victor, and the beautiful Kahmora is the first official casualty of the Pork Chop Loading Dock. Elliott rejoices.

Despite B-squad’s best efforts, the hierarchy put into place in episode one’s lip-sync extravaganza was reinforced this week. Symone reigned supreme once again, and both members of the bottom two came from the lip-sync-losing team. But Drag Race is known for its midseason shakeups, and I wouldn’t put it past these queens to steal the spotlight right back next week. Let’s find out, shall we? Until then!

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