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Everything is not in its right place as Ted Lasso nears the end of its second season

Photo: Apple TV+

In the opening moments of “Midnight Train to Royston,” we see the results of the penultimate game of AFC Richmond’s season, as Sam basks in the glory of his first career hat trick and another win for the surging Richmond. Through the voiceover, commentators Arlo White and Chris Powell reveal through exposition that Richmond has been playing spectacular football, and are a win away from securing promotion back to the Premier League.

I have to admit that I found this a bit surprising (and not just because y’all in the comments explained that the promotion structure of the Championship is more complicated than this episode implies). After starting the season with a long string of draws, Ted Lasso has mostly had Richmond’s regular season play out off-screen, and the few games we did see were part of the FA Cup and that ended with an embarrassing loss to Man City that one could have imagined as a real momentum killer. Instead, the team appears to have gone on an impressive winning streak, and are now on the verge of achieving the goal that Rebecca and Ted set out for this year at the end of the first season.

Some of you in the comments have tried to do the math on what type of unprecedented performance would have allowed the team to be in such an advantageous position given their weak start, but it’s clear that Ted Lasso isn’t interested in the math. Instead, “Midnight Train to Royston” presents such a rosy picture of Richmond’s performance on the pitch to draw as stark a contrast as possible with the tension bubbling to the surface amongst the team’s employees. At the same time as Richmond is on the brink of promotion, Ted’s panic attacks are a day away from becoming tabloid fodder at the hands of a disgruntled Nate, Sam’s on the verge of a career-changing decision on his playing career and his relationship with Rebecca, and Roy and Keeley are facing down the biggest challenge to their relationship to date.

However, to say these tensions fail to register equally would be an understatement. Built as it is around a pivotal turning point and an uncertain future for the team, this is meant to be the climax for the season’s story arcs, and yet half of them remain illegible and struggle to hold up against much scrutiny. The result is an episode that mostly reaffirms my frustrations with the season thus far, clarifying once and for all which stories have worked as slow-burn developments to fuel character dynamics, and which ones just feel like the show was either missing the mark from the beginning or is missing the pieces necessary to make it work in context of the story being told.

It’s no coincidence that the two stories in this episode that work the best are also the ones that have been more consistently developed over the course of the season. Ted and Nate’s respective journeys have always been linked, even when they have never interacted this year outside of group scenes. That separation is used productively here, as Nate starts to be more comfortable voicing his frustration with Ted failing to give him proper credit around his fellow coaches, and he continues to be mostly shrugged off and lightly corrected by Roy and Beard. Unlike Nate, Roy and Beard are comfortable in their role as assistant coaches: they know what their job is, they know how to fulfill their roles, and they have no ambition to achieve something more if it means being forced to take on more authority or step out of their comfort zones. Nate wants more recognition of the work he’s doing, and is tired of Ted’s patronage—symbolized by the suit—effectively relegating him to a lackey in his own mind and the mind of everyone else (or so he believes). And that would seem to be why, at some point offscreen, Nate told Trent Crimm (The Independent) that Ted lied about his bout with food poisoning, and actually had a panic attack.

It’s a smart convergence of two stories that have been operating independent of one another, but have nonetheless always been in conversation. Nate’s storyline has been frustrating in productive ways for the show, as our issues with Nate’s behavior and the absence of any consequences for Nate’s behavior has emphasized Ted’s failure to recognize and take responsibility for what was happening while he was (understandably) distracted dealing with his own problems. Nate’s betrayal of Ted is going to cut deep, yes, but if there’s anything we’ve learned about Ted this season it’s that he sees the well-being of everyone on his team as his own problem to solve. Just look at how his confrontation with Sharon after she tries to ghost on him plays out: at the core of his anger is the idea that they shared a breakthrough, and thus created a bond that links their journeys together. The fact he didn’t realize how his similar bond with Nate had fallen apart will be as central to the pain he’s about to go through as the news cycle Trent Crimm has set in motion. Whatever hit Ted faces to his professional reputation or his coaching future seems like it will pale in comparison to the personal betrayal by someone he considered his friend, and also his personal failure to see the signs that this was on the horizon.

For Nate, meanwhile, this really is his villain arc, but I appreciate the show’s willingness to let his heel turn play out the way it has. While I thought roping him into the Roy and Keeley nonsense—more on that in a bit—was unnecessary, his story remains one of someone who spent so long getting spit on that a brief taste of notoriety has him spitting indiscriminately hoping it will give him the recognition he feels he deserves. It’s a depressing insight into how the culture of toxic masculinity is so pervasive that someone like Nate is destined to replicate the same behavior that tormented him, and unable to imagine success or authority through a lens other than the one he was under for the rest of his life. It echoes a conversation I once had with a TV writer about the culture of writers’ rooms, and how the abusive behavior of showrunners is so easily passed down to other writers as they gain authority over the course of their careers. It’s not a pleasant story to watch, but that’s what makes it work: we want to believe the culture Ted created within the team would be enough to overcome the scars of Nate’s past, but it wasn’t, and now everyone has to reckon with that.

The success of these two stories is built on the fact we’ve seen those scars develop over the course of both the first and second seasons, and as the story takes this turn we have enough information to understand Nate’s decision even if we don’t agree with it. The rest of this episode, though, struggles to accomplish the same, rushing to deliver comparable climaxes for stories that are just plain not working. This has been particularly true for Roy and Keeley’s relationship, which the show has decided to turn into two love triangles at the last minute. After last week’s declaration of love from Jamie, this week sees Keeley end up a victim of Nate’s shotgun masculinity while a miscommunication about Phoebe’s pick-up from school finds Roy hanging classroom decorations with her teacher and notably not mentioning Keeley when she asks if he’s married. As they sit down for a photoshoot for Keeley’s first magazine spread attached to her career and not her looks, these details spill out, and they’re left hanging in the uncertainty of the moment while the camera flashes.

Photo: Apple TV+

And look, I won’t pretend that I didn’t enjoy the chemistry that Roy has had with Phoebe’s teacher in their couple of scenes from throughout the season, but I truly do not have a grasp on what this accelerated conflict is trying to accomplish. I understand the broad purpose of the story: the season as a whole has been about testing the limits of Ted’s idealistic philosophy, and Roy and Keeley’s relationship is the show’s closest romantic equivalent of that. But the show already did an episode where they took off the rose-colored glasses on their relationship, and there we saw them learn lessons about clear communication that seemingly brought them closer together. At this point, nothing that’s happening to the characters is emerging from the characters themselves: it is the show’s contrivance pulling Jamie’s declaration out of thin air, exaggerating their funeral argument in ways that lacked motivation, and now tossing in Phoebe’s teacher and Nate’s kiss—which Roy is admittedly rightfully unconcerned about—to pile up so many potential vulnerabilities that even the show’s most ideal relationship is on the verge of collapsing.

But rather than being legitimately concerned about their relationship, I’m distracted by the overloading of story by the writers, whose machinations have disconnected the plot from any clear character motivations, and pulled me out of a story at a time when the show wants to be pulling me in. The scene that precedes the revelations, as Roy sits down with Keeley as she worries about the pressure of finally being seen as herself and not just as a body, is such a clear depiction of the core of their supportive relationship, so why couldn’t that have just been the story? I still do not understand what the show is gaining from layering these contrivances on top of this relationship that couldn’t have been achieved by the two characters on their own terms, especially given that Jamie’s point of view is entirely absent here, further reinforcing how arbitrary that revelation was.

It’s probably less surprising, if you’re been reading these reviews consistently, that I feel much the same about Sam and Rebecca’s storyline. In an episode searching for conflicts to complicate relationships, the most bizarre choice is to introduce an entirely new one for Sam and Rebecca instead of using the ones that already existed in their story thus far. I know I’ve complained a lot about the lack of consequences from Sam’s Dubai Air protest, but there was always the possibility it might come back to complicate their lives later on, especially once he and Rebecca became romantically involved. And the messy power dynamics of their relationship seemed like they would be a natural source of later conflict, should more people become aware of their connection. So it’s strange to see the show drop in Sam Richardson playing Edwin Akufoz—an African billionaire who wants to buy Sam to play for a team in Africa he doesn’t even own yet—out of its hat to generate the threat of Sam leaving the team, completely bypassing existing conflicts to tell a far less interesting story about Sam and Rebecca facing rote dilemmas of deciding whether a relationship is important enough to disrupt other parts of their life.

And yes, my core problem with this story is that I do not buy their relationship: they flirted anonymously for at most a couple of months, spent a few weeks in a secret relationship, and now it’s true love? We needed to see more of those bantr messages if they wanted us to understand that depth of connection, and we also needed more time spent in Sam’s point-of-view: it’s weird to show the start of his conversation with his father here, for example, but not show us how the conversation played out before his final moment with Rebecca. It’s just a fundamentally unbalanced storyline, and to rob us of the chance to see Sam debriefing his experience with Edwin is a missed opportunity to start the process of rectifying that.

But even if I imagine a scenario where I was all in on the relationship itself, nothing about how this story plays out makes sense to me. Why do we never see a conversation where the team’s coaches/management have a meeting to discuss the on-field ramifications of losing a star player, and what it might do to team morale? The show chooses to boil the story down to “Rebecca has to decide if she loves Sam enough to tell him not to follow his dream home to Africa,” but there are clear financial and professional obligations central to this story that the show just sweeps under the rug in the process, and it’s a disservice to the world the writers spent two seasons creating. This is especially true when the show goes so far as to draw a parallel between Rebecca’s admission to Ted that she had been trying to sabotage him from season one with her admission that she and Sam were having an affair, as though those were two equally significant moments in the show’s story arcs.

As soon as I realized what the show was suggesting, it galvanized my frustration with how this story has played out, and the disconnect it’s created between me and the show as a whole. Ted’s message in that scene is that nothing he says matters, and that Rebecca just needs to listen to her heart and her gut, but that is profoundly not true. The choice to have all of these characters collectively ignore the power dynamics of this relationship and the potential workplace implications is incredibly confusing, as is Ted’s complete lack of concern for how Sam’s potential exit would impact his team and their future. Charitably, one could argue we’re meant to judge Ted for this, and see it as another sign of his inability to focus his energy in the right place when it comes to balancing the team and his relationship with his coworkers. But the show has failed to present anyone—Higgins, for example—making a more pragmatic case for handling this situation, and the sweeping romanticism of Sam and Rebecca’s relationship has never wavered or really even been questioned to date. And while there is one remaining episode for all of these consequences to come to the surface, I have reached the point where I frankly do not trust the show when it comes to handling the fallout from this and other story elements that have popped up this season.

I realize with one episode remaining in the season it is possible that whatever Rupert was seeding at the funeral will reshape our understanding of this season, and clarify the writers’ intentions for how we’re meant to see its place in the three-season arc that Sudeikis has talked about having planned for the show and its characters. And as is always the case, as the writers are reconvening to break that third season, they’re going to be exploring the stories from a fresh perspective, meaning that criticisms of a given season may be naturally addressed by self-reflection or the injection of new voices. As such, I want to emphasize—because it apparently needs to be said—that my evaluation of this episode or even the season as a whole is not a wholesale dismissal of Ted Lasso, its philosophy, or those who are enjoying the show more than I am right now.

But given how much trust I held in the show at the end of the first season, it’s deeply disappointing to leave “Midnight Train to Royston” feeling so at odds with the show’s priorities, and its understanding of the stories being told. For me, it’s not as simple as a lack of focus on the football elements of the series, or the tonal swings as we dig deeper into the characters’ pain, or the fiction that a Nigerian player who loses a game protesting a sponsor would only benefit from doing so (okay, you got me, that last one is still a sticking point). It’s the intangible feeling that there are dimensions to these stories that are being left behind or elided for reasons that I don’t understand, which is all the more distressing for a show that I was so in tune with last year.

I’ll be more than thrilled if I feel differently after next week’s finale, but I can’t pretend that I’m currently optimistic about that given what transpired here.

Stray observations

  • So, it’s incredibly dumb that a week before that a game that would determine the team’s promotion to the Premier League Ted would have the team learning the dance to “Bye Bye Bye.” I know it’s a fun bit, and we love the show having fun bits, but there is a time and a place for them. But then I realized that part of the point of the scene is that Nate spends the whole time seething at how dumb it is, which is both good subtle storytelling but also deeply conflicting since it means I’m relating most to Nate’s perspective, and Nate is being a right git. We could read this as the show being consciously ambiguous, but instead it just reads as wanting to have its cake and eat it too based on the aforementioned lack of trust.
  • Note the clear contrast between Nate and Will, who’s swaying his hips to the music as he holds the speaker.
  • Sam Richardson doesn’t get a lot of “comedy” to play with Akufo, but I really enjoyed the physicality of his run from the helicopter.
  • “Congratulations, you both just met a cool person”—the “middle-aged man is Banksy” joke was a dud, but I thought it was interesting to see Akufo use one of Ted’s own lines (albeit one he used with Trent during his interview) as a way of making Sam feel more comfortable with the idea of leaving Richmond.
  • It would appear that Sam has picked up “Full name sung to the tune of ‘Seven Nation Army’” as his chant.
  • We spent all that time speculating in the comments that they would end the season with the team in the Championship play-offs to determine the third promotion spot, but the show has entirely erased any of those distinctions, now just saying they’re one win away. Does this mean they’re in the final playoff game? Because if not, the implication that the next game is “do or die” would be misleading, although they’re also not treating it as very “do or die” given Nate’s the only one discussing strategy. Just very strange all around.
  • “Your eyebrows aren’t crazy. They’re psychotic”—this Beard line is fine and all, but I preferred the little moment when he checks his own eyebrows as Roy’s ranting about the photo shoot being picky about his.
  • “Unnervingly accurate charcoal sketches of breasts”—It’s Roy’s “nice” when he gets to one he likes that really sells his reaction to these.
  • I suppose it makes sense to have Ted be too giddy to resist bringing up the Cheers connection with another “Sam and Rebecca,” but seemed a bit on-the-nose after it’s been discussed online for weeks, y’know?
  • Speaking of subtle moments with Nate, on rewatching it you can see the moment where he starts to cross wires between his desire to be in charge and whatever energy he was channeling toward Keeley as she talks about how Roy never wants to go shopping with her. We’ve seen him cross these wires before when he asked out the host at the restaurant after securing the window table, too, so it’s a natural extension.
  • “Don’t let-ter get away with it, Ted”—as the dust on the season settles, I’m pretty convinced that the “standalone” episode would have been better spent on Higgins, both because he’s delightful and we could have gained some insight into how the business operations of the club and the team’s performance were weighing on him.
  • As a general rule, if I don’t know a character’s name going into the penultimate episode of a season, you can’t successfully insert them into a love triangle. (It’s Ms. Bowen, we learn here.)
  • I’m looking forward to flipping through the episode once it goes live to see what the Nigerian painting Sam and Edwin are looking at looks like, since it was just a green screen in the screener.
  • So, Edwin’s plan—he claims—is to buy Raja Casablanca and turn the Moroccan team into a powerhouse alongside the major European clubs. I was curious, though, if there is any precedent to an individual buying rights to a player before they’ve actually bought the team in question? I was confused by the reasons he would be doing things in that order, and it made me suspicious that he’s lying. Surely Sam shouldn’t make any kind of decision until the ink is dry on the sale of the team, right?
  • I enjoyed Roy’s callback to the “Independent Woman” scene from the first season, which might be part of why I reacted so violently to the “Is this the end of Roy and Keeley?!” nonsense right after it.
  • Colin Corner: Feels like the chances of them circling back to that random Grindr line are getting pretty thin, but they did close the loop on his Lambo being way too much car for him, so I’m not giving up hope yet.
  • “Karma Police” was much too on the nose, but I’ll never be mad at OK Computer needle drops.
  • The episode’s title appears to be a play on Sam’s potential departure and the idea that Royston is both an actual location in Georgia and in the U.K.? I think?

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Season 2, Episode 10, “No Weddings And A Funeral”

Photo: Apple TV+

Picking up a few weeks after Richmond’s loss to Man City, “No Weddings and a Funeral” wastes no time clarifying its emotional purpose. After opening on Sam and Rebecca musing about whether to take their relationship public, Rebecca’s mother arrives with the news that her husband has died, and all of the show’s narrative energy converges on his funeral.

After Beard’s divisive detour into the streets of London, the choice to once again largely ignore the on-field dimensions of Richmond’s season is a bit of a surprising one, with only two episodes left to go in the season. But what becomes clear is that for the show’s writers, whatever ending the season is building to cannot happen until Ted and Rebecca achieve a sense of clarity about how they intend to approach those circumstances, based on what they’ve experienced in the season thus far. For Ted, that means confronting the core emotions about his father’s death which were inevitably brought to the surface by someone else losing their own father. For Rebecca, this means confronting her mother about how she could be romanticizing the cheating, gaslighting man she kept letting back into her life, and what her understanding of this means for her own relationships.

The climax of “No Weddings and a Funeral” is a cross-cut between Ted’s house call therapy session with Sharon—who he called after he had a panic attack putting on his tie to head to the funeral—and Rebecca confronting her mother with the truth about her father’s behavior. For Ted, this is the culmination of the season’s strongest storytelling, gradually allowing us to understand how Ted’s philosophy is founded on his grief and anger over his father’s suicide. It isn’t as simple as the idea that Ted is compensating for his sense of loss. It’s that his entire personality has become about simultaneously working to help everyone in the way he wishes he could have helped his father, and also doing everything in his power to not show his pain and become a burden on them. It’s Rebecca’s mother who says that “once I love something, I love it forever” when defending her choice to stay with her husband, but in many ways Ted’s stubbornness about his coping mechanisms was equally absolute, up until his divorce shattered the equilibrium he had managed to attain. And so not only is Ted feeling that he’s quitting on his family like his father quit on him, but he’s also trained himself never to let anyone else share his pain, trapping him in a toxic cycle.

Based on what Sharon says to Ted over the phone about breathing exercises, this is not their first session since the phone call after the Man City game, but it’s their breakthrough moment. Jason Sudeikis has always been at his best when the show asks him to strip down to Ted’s deep well of sadness, and he’s excellent here as Sharon flips a switch in his brain about how he thinks about his father. It’s important for his therapy that he details the day he found his father’s body, and the hatred he felt for what his father did to his wife and son, but it’s more important that he understands the love he feels for his father in relation to that. The Johnny Tremain story is a core memory for Ted, but one that he had pushed aside, even as it informs the responsibility he feels for his players and his family. And his wish that his father could have known how good he was at being a father is hopefully the permission he needs to let himself accept that he is a good father, friend, and coach, even if he isn’t able to solve all their problems (and even if things like the Nate situation might reveal ways in which he’s failed in those roles at times).

It’s a powerful and important scene, and one that has clear reverberations through all of Ted’s relationships both personal and professional as we head into the rest of the season. The choice to cross-cut it with Rebecca’s conversation with her mother, though, is where things start to get more muddled. To start, Emmy winner Hannah Waddingham is tremendous throughout the scene, matching Sudeikis’ energy and reminding us how well she taps into Rebecca’s vulnerabilities. It’s a tall order to match up something as dark as Ted discovering his father’s body to her finding her father cheating when she was a teenager, but Waddingham sells it, and fully anchors us in Rebecca’s struggle to understand her mother’s choice to act as though this funeral isn’t celebrating a man who did them wrong. And ostensibly, the choice to run the scenes in parallel makes the case that even if it may not have been traumatic to the same degree, Rebecca’s life philosophy has been similarly shaped by her father’s cheating: it informs her approach to romantic relationships, whether it’s her divorce from Rupert or her anxiety over her relationship with Sam.

Except, try as Waddingham might, I struggled to find a coherent narrative in Rebecca’s storyline here, mainly because her arc in the season has been so opaque. As I’ve explored previously, the show entirely lost the character’s work-life balance this season, pivoting exclusively to the bantr storyline outside of the Cerithium Oil situation in “Do The Right-est Thing” that ended up being part of the bantr storyline anyway (which Nora cements by reprising the “Boss Ass Bitch” line to describe Rebecca shagging Sam). What “No Weddings And A Funeral” does is make the argument that her narrow focus on finding love this season is a symptom of her own pathology: whereas the first season saw her come to terms with how her unhealthy desire to hurt Rupert was blinding her to the relationships she was building with her co-workers and her investment in the team she vowed to destroy, that realization didn’t suddenly mean that she knew how to be in a healthy relationship, or that she necessarily knew how to run a football club.

In writing that out, I’m starting to better understand the writers’ goal for Rebecca’s story, but placing it in such close proximity to the subtle yet purposeful setup for Ted’s breakthrough underlines how there wasn’t enough work done early in the season for this to fully register. If you have Hannah Waddingham, giving her a lengthy monologue at her father’s funeral is going to solve some of that problem, but there needed to be more evidence in the season that Rebecca was neglecting parts of her work, and that she was doing more than scrolling through dating apps. The season started with the goal of being promoted, but Rebecca didn’t seem to have internalized that goal, and seemingly didn’t have a professional priority heading into the year. I’m glad that Rebecca still has things to figure out about herself, as the whole message of the show is that personal growth is a process that never ends and can often feel tremendously isolating, but her story just has too many mixed signals for this not to register as an overreach.

While this retcon isn’t entirely successful at justifying her storylines this season, it does at least create a clearer path forward in terms of where the consequences of her and Ted’s actions will complicate Richmond’s future. Although Rebecca weirdly never brings up the power dynamics of her relationship with Sam as a point of anxiety when she decides to break things off, the choice to reintroduce Rupert is indeed conspicuous, and lines up with some discussion in the comments about how the Sam relationship could be used to undermine her leadership given the —fittingly clunky, given the joke earlier in the episode—exposition reminding us about Becks’ shares in the team. And it’s no mistake that Rupert whispers sweet nothings into Nate’s ear on his way out the door, making it increasingly likely that he stages a coup of both Ted and Rebecca in one fell swoop. While my concerns about some of the lack of immediate consequences for past storylines remain, I will be more than happy if the show takes the accumulating neglect from all these storylines into a finale cliffhanger.

However, I am less happy with the clunkiest part of this episode, which was the reintroduction of Jamie into Keeley’s romantic life. I was going to write that it was the return of the Keeley/Roy/Jamie love triangle, but to be honest the show never actually told that story: Keeley had dumped Jamie on her own accord before she really started connecting with Roy, and by the time Jamie returned to the picture Roy and Keeley were already settling into their relationship. Jamie’s return has featured a few moments between him and Keeley, like when he went to her looking for advice on connecting with the team and she took him to Sharon, but those were all fairly minor. Concurrently, the show has never really given us much reason to doubt Roy and Keeley’s relationship, especially given how—as Alan Sepinwall said when I was discussing this episode with him—every fight they have seems to only bring them closer together. And so it was deeply perplexing to watch an episode where Roy picks a dumb fight without a lot of reason, Keeley seems overly impressed that Jamie was willing to wear a normal suit, and they kept stealing glances until Jamie reveals that one of the reasons he came back to Richmond was because he loves her and wants her back.

I just don’t understand the logic of this eleventh hour story. It seems unfathomable to me that anyone in the show’s audience is rooting against Roy and Kelley based on the stories that have been told, and nothing about his minor teasing about her desire to fertilize a tree after she died would have impacted that. And while Jamie has indeed done a lot to fuel his redemption arc, we haven’t been given enough of his point-of-view for him to be an equal rooting interest to Roy, even if Roy had been taken down a peg here. If the show wants this to feel consequential or suspenseful, they needed to have approached the resolution to Roy and Kelley’s past conflicts differently, leaving meaningful wiggle room for it to seem like a legitimate competition. As it stands, it reads as writerly intervention to fuel late-season conflict, without the textual evidence necessary to make it an organic part of the story being told.

With the entirety of the team ditching their trainers—poor Dani might never recover—for the occasion, and Sassy and Nora returning to the fold, “No Weddings And A Funeral” uses its longer running time to deliver lots of small moments of joy, in addition to Rebecca’s Rickroll eulogy serving as an emotional anchor for the funeral itself. And while I do think that this much time spent away from the pitch reinforces the risks associated with Beard’s detour last week, there’s enough fuel in those small moments here to generate momentum, and hopefully bring us a step or two closer to pulling the season’s various threads together. What’s clear here, though, is that the writers may have overreached on how some of these arcs are meant to converge, which is going to create some hurdles to bringing everything full circle by the time Richmond’s do-or-die moment comes at season’s end.

Stray observations

  • To our back-and-forth discussion last week about how narratively significant “Beard After Hours” would be, he Facetimes Jane into the funeral like it’s a concert, without any delving into the unhealthy dimensions of that relationship. For me, it’s still a misstep, although I was happy to continue the dialogue we started about it here in the comments last week with the good folks at Lasso Cast.
  • In addition to his little moment with Rupert, Nate’s super villain arc was also fueled once more by Jan, who notes the infantilizing detail that Nate’s only suit came via Ted. At this point, I don’t see how he turns away from the dark side, given how much someone like Rupert validating him and giving him authority would fuel his ego.
  • After this week’s Emmys—where, if you missed it, the show won Outstanding Comedy Series, Actor, and Supporting Actor (Brett Goldstein) and Actress (Waddingham)—and the number of times they played the beginning of the show’s theme song, it stood out how when the episode awkwardly transitioned from “He died” to “Yeahhhhhh.” Definitely intentional, I thought, given the way they didn’t try to fit in any dialogue in between.
  • Rebecca’s mother made a joke about how Sam’s boxer briefs left little to the imagination but if the writers really wanted that joke to land they would have chosen a lighter color (although it’s possible the black was a standards and practices note).
  • I appreciate the show’s follow through on throwaway jokes, like Ted getting ready for the funeral to “Easy Lover” as he explained earlier in the season. It’s the kind of attention to detail that makes it harder for me when the show contorts itself to make things like the love triangle materialize.
  • As his panic attack comes on, Ted sees the army man his son sent to protect him, his son’s visit last season, and then finally a dart hitting a board.
  • After I watched this episode, I had a conversation with a friend about “Never Gonna Give You Up” where he also brought up the fact that everyone initially presumed Rick Astley was black, so I appreciated that Rebecca’s mother still believed this was true decades later. (Also, while I know that the song has become infamous due to Rickrolling, for me as an older millennial it is instead a definitive “Song I Learned About Due To Pop-Up Video”).
  • I thought Jane Facetiming into a funeral was creepy, but I did appreciate that you could see her on the screen singing along to “Amazing Grace.”
  • I’ve never fully understood shipping Ted and Rebecca, to be honest, and a big part of that is because I find Ted and Sassy’s whole dynamic far more compelling. I’ll ship that.
  • Although he started the season as its first case study, Dani has largely faded into the background, so his little runner about the shoes was fun here.
  • Did anyone get really distracted by how small the doors in Rebecca’s house were, given that she towered over them? How many times did she hit her forehead as a teenager?!
  • Not that I’m entirely hung up on that Grindr joke from Colin earlier in the season, but it’s Bi Visibility Day as I’m writing this, so I’m just going to note we’re still waiting for any other piece of evidence to go along with it. His weirdness that Becks was breastfeeding her baby during the funeral and his ignorance to the fact that not all shoes require you to stand in line and wait for them were both unhelpful in this regard.
  • I’ve been told I am not appreciating Higgins enough, so while it probably wasn’t an expressly necessary scene narratively to see the coaches all debriefing after learning Rebecca’s father died, I appreciated it for Higgins’ belief that in heaven animals are in charge and humans are the pets. I look forward to fan art of him curled up in front of Cindy Clawford.

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Make T-Rex a picky eater in the next Jurassic Park movie, cowards

“Is this keto, though?”
Photo: David McNew/Newsmakers (Getty Images)

Everybody is going soft on us these days, and it’s goddamn infuriating. Seriously, how are the young boys of America supposed to grow up big, strong, masculine, and repress their emotional communication skills when they’re losing big, beefy role models each and every day? Now, it’s becoming increasingly apparent that they can’t even pretend to be a T-Rex anymore.

Per a report from the quivering liberal elite at the New York Times, the world’s most recognizable and fearsome of dinosaurs probably wasn’t the wantonly vicious, bloodthirsty apex predator we were promised, but instead, some kind of sensitive-gummed, wishy-washy picky eater.

“The jaws of Tyrannosaurus were powerful enough to crush bones. However, in situations where food was plentiful, they may have used their sensitive snouts to eat the more nutritious parts of their prey selectively,” Soichiro Kawabe, paleontologist at Fukui Prefectural University’s Institute of Dinosaur Research and co-author of a new study on the subject, told the NYT. “The diet of Tyrannosaurus may not have been as crude as we imagine,” they added.

Great. Wonderful. What’s the point of having steak knife teeth and a literal lizard brain if you can’t wholly abide by the Jordan Peterson Diet? Apparently, it was potentially a way to better be a parent. “Crocodiles have sensitive snouts, which… also give them such a finely tuned sense of touch that they can carry their young in their mouths without crushing them with their powerful jaws,” explains the article. The paleontologist theorizes that T-Rexes might have done the same. And, as you are well aware of by now: being a dad is very not masculine. Not in the slightest.

Well, you know what have to say to the woke police coming for the dinosaurs? Make the T-Rex a sensitive picky eater beta male in Jurassic Park: Dominion, you cowards. Go on. See how the public reacts to the king of dinos chomping off only people’s heads, then carrying around tiny T-Rex babies in its jaws before spitting them out towards Sam Neill and Laura Dern…

Wait a minute. That sounds kinda badass. Hmm…

Well, you’re welcome, Colin.

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Ben Simmons is playing the victim, Cowboys’ Hard Knocks Episode 1 reaction — Colin | THE HERD – The Herd with Colin Cowherd

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Scarlett Johansson is pregnant, expecting baby with Colin Jost

Scarlett Johansson is pregnant!

The Oscar-nominated actress is expecting her first child with husband Colin Jost, multiple sources tell Page Six.

One source told us: “Scarlett is actually due soon, I know she and Colin are thrilled.”

Another insider added: “Scarlett is pregnant but has been keeping it very quiet. She has been keeping a very low profile.”

The “Avengers” star, 36, sparked pregnancy rumors in June after skipping out on several “Black Widow” events.

“She hasn’t been doing many interviews or events to promote ‘Black Widow’ which is surprising since it is a huge Marvel/Disney release and she is both the star and an executive producer,” our source explained.

Instead, she’s been carrying out promotional appearances via Zoom, appearing virtually on the “Tonight Show” to chat with Jimmy Fallon on June 21 and conspicuously only shot from the shoulders up.

She was also absent from a “Black Widow” screening in the Hamptons Friday — attended by her co-star David Harbour and followed by a party at Mariska Hargitay’s home — even though she and Jost own a home in Montauk, where they’re frequently seen out and about.

A Hamptons source told us: “Scarlett usually spends a lot of the summer out in Amagansett and Montauk, and you’d often see her walking her dogs on the beach or getting coffee. But this summer it seems like she is deliberately trying to keep a low profile.”

Disney has already thrown “Black Widow” events in New York, Los Angeles, and London but sans ScarJo. The actress stars in the big-budget flick — released this weekend after being postponed last year due to the COVID-19 pandemic — as the titular character, a Russian-born spy-turned-Avenger. It’s among a number of movies which Hollywood hopes will revive the box office.

Florence Pugh, who plays Romanoff’s sister Yelena, has been heavily promoting the movie, appearing on Zoom on “Good Morning America” on Tuesday and also attending a red carpet premiere in London on June 29.

Johansson and Jost have been together since 2017.
WireImage

The new arrival will be Johansson’s second child. She previously welcomed daughter Rose, now 6, with ex-husband Romain Dauriac.

Johansson and the “Saturday Night Live” star, 39, quietly tied the knot in October 2020 after three years of dating. This will be his first child.

The two Js met on the set of “SNL” in 2006 but weren’t romantically linked until May 2017, when they were spotted kissing at an afterparty for the NBC stalwart, a few months after Johansson filed for divorce from Dauriac. The duo made their relationship public in December 2017 before announcing their engagement in May 2019, and the “Lucy” star called Jost “the love of my life” while appearing on “SNL” in December 2019.

Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost, pictured here at the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar party, are expecting their first child together.Patrick McMullan via Getty Image

“I’ve met someone I love. And who I feel more comfortable with than I ever have before,” Jost subsequently wrote of Johansson in his 2020 memoir, “A Very Punchable Face.”

Jost already seems ready for fatherhood, as he was spotted carrying his stepdaughter out in New York in April after a family dinner with Johansson.

A rep for Johansson was unavailable for comment.

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SNL’s Colin Jost Brutally Mocks His Look-Alike Matt Gaetz

Following a cold open that saw Pete Davidson debut his creepy, Quagmire-esque Matt Gaetz, Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update” continued the onslaught.

“Representative Matt Gaetz, who looks like a caricature-artist drawing of me, is reportedly under investigation for an alleged sexual relationship with an underage girl—because Gaetz believes that only voters should have to show ID,” joked Colin Jost. “It’s also being reported that Gaetz may have paid for sex with women he met online. That story has since been confirmed by his whole vibe.”

Yes, Gaetz is currently under investigation for allegedly conducting a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl, and for possibly violating sex-trafficking laws by paying for her to travel across state lines. Furthermore, as CNN reported, Gaetz also stands accused of showing nude photos of women he’d supposedly slept with to fellow congressmen on the House floor and having ecstasy-fueled romps with prostitutes.

Jost then addressed Gaetz’s incredibly strange (and unconvincing) statement on the allegations, delivered in the third person: “Matt Gaetz has never paid for sex… Matt Gaetz has never ever been on any such websites whatsoever… Matt Gaetz cherishes the relationships in his past and looks forward to marrying the love of his life.”

To that, Jost released his own statement in response: “Colin Jost does not believe you… Colin Jost thinks you have been to alllll the websites… Colin Jost thinks you should hold off on sending out those wedding invites.”

Of course, the Trump-loving QAnon crowd—conspiracy theorists who believe that Trump, a good friend of Jeffrey Epstein’s, was somehow waging covert battle against an army of Democratic and Hollywood pedophile sex traffickers—has been remarkably silent concerning the Gaetz revelations.

“Here’s the craziest part of this story to me: a sitting congressman is being accused of child trafficking and the QAnon people are suddenly like, ‘Nah, I need more evidence,’” cracked Jost. “That was your whole thing! I mean, come on! Matt Gaetz’s girlfriend, she was allegedly 17, the 17th letter in the alphabet is Q, it all adds up! What are you waiting for? The storm is finally here, and QAnon is like, ‘You can’t believe everything you read on the internet.’”

If that weren’t enough, Gaetz was the only representative in Congress to vote against a 2017 human trafficking bill.

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Alex Smith says “country wasn’t ready” for Colin Kaepernick

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SportsPulse: Mackenzie Salmon connected with Hall of Fame safety Ed Reed to get his thoughts on the NFL’s new social justice messaging that will be featured on end zones this year. Reed was pretty blunt about what ‘messages’ mean at this point.

USA TODAY

While reflecting on a season with former San Francisco 49ers teammate Colin Kaepernick, Alex Smith says Kaepernick’s absence from football is a tragedy. 

“It’s so tragic looking at it. I think (Kaepernick) was ahead of his time, certainly trying to call out social injustice, especially around police reform,” said the Washington Football Team quarterback on The Ringer’s podcast 10 questions with Kyle Brandt.

“The country wasn’t ready,” said Smith. “Nobody was ready for it. And he’s sitting there trying to tell everybody through a completely peaceful manner about some of the things going on in this country that had been going on for a long time, and to see the backlash that happened, it hurts. It hurts looking back at it. The country wasn’t ready for it, and he suffered the repercussions.”

When Kaepernick took a knee in 2016 during the national anthem to peacefully protest police brutality and systemic racism in America, he faced national backlash. Kaepernick became a free agent at the end of the 2016- 2017 season after opting out of his 49ers contract and has not played a down in the NFL since.

Smith recalls Kaepernick as a quiet, respectful and talented teammate, saying “it still doesn’t make sense” that Kaepernick is no longer playing in the league. 

Smith, 36, and Kaepernick, 33, played together in San Francisco in 2011 and 2012. Kaepernick was the 49ers starting quarterback in 2012, the year they reached the Super Bowl. In his first NFL playoff start, Kaepernick led the 49ers to an NFC West division win against the Green Bay Packers, rushing for an NFL record of 181 yards. Kaepernick went on to lead the 49ers to a championship win against the Atlanta Falcons before falling short in Super Bowl 47 against the Baltimore Ravens. 

“The run that he went on at the end of that last year when we were together and then went to the Super Bowl… was so crazy to watch,” said Smith. “Truly one of the historic runs in football. It’s crazy to fast forward only a couple later that he was out of the league. Couldn’t even grasp it. Couldn’t understand it. It still doesn’t make sense.”

“Obviously, he was incredibly brave and I’m certainly proud of him, to even know him and what he has done,” said Smith. “He lost his livelihood. Probably one of the guys, I felt like had the brightest future ahead of him. Fast forward a few years later and I think we all were like, ‘he obviously was trying to tell us something and knew it.’ To see what has happened this last year and hopefully will continue to happen going forward. You hope that (Kaepernick) will be apart of the answer and the solution.

Contact Analis Bailey at aabailey@usatoday.com or on Twitter @analisbailey.

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‘Supernova’ review: Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci light up the end-of-life drama

Firth’s Sam and Tucci’s Tusker have been together for decades, and they’re introduced on a cross-country trek in a beat-up old camper. It’s what amounts to a last hurrah, with Tusker having pushed his partner to perform a piano recital, stopping to see family along the way.

Both are keenly aware that the hourglass is running out on the life they’ve known. Tusker’s condition is gradually worsening, with occasional moments where he wanders off or struggles to articulate thoughts. He’s mostly fine now, but his inevitable deterioration — and the unwelcome prospect of “becoming a passenger” in his own body, as he says — looms like a shadow over them.

As for Sam, the trip is dogged by the fact that he’ll soon be a full-time caretaker, a role to which he has committed himself that nevertheless scares him. “You’re not supposed to mourn someone while they’re still here,” Tusker observes, summing up Sam’s uncomfortable plight.

“Supernova” isn’t a great title for a movie like this — it’s a crafty play off the pair’s interest in stargazing — although it’s oddly appropriate, since the two stars keep things watchable even when there’s nothing much happening, which is most of the time. In that regard, the film joins a long roster of end-of-life romances, in this case unfolding in what feels like slow motion.

Marking the second writing-directing effort from actor Harry Macqueen, this British production doesn’t bother with flashbacks or much reminiscing about the couple’s relationship. All that history comes in the form of casual exchanges and small gestures that reflect a lifetime together, as touchingly conveyed by Firth and Tucci, whose real-life friendship surely contributes to that shorthand. (The latter will be featured in a CNN food and travel show premiering in February.)

As understated as the movie is, the emotion of the situation comes through loud and clear. While the pacing might have benefited from a few more detours or details, the audience has a pretty good understanding of where this road began and where it leads.

“Supernova” is by any measure a modest production, but it accomplishes what it sets out to do: Creating a touching, low-key showcase for its stars, one that allows them to cast a bright light.

“Supernova” premieres January 29 in select theaters and February 16 on demand. It’s rated R.

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